Facebook Stalking

Facebook Stalking

It is a very odd thing to do. Almost everyone does it but, like picking your nose or peeing in the shower, it isn’t talked about and you do it in private.

However it is a seemingly natural aspect when engaging in social media. 

Websites such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter open up the door to peering into someone’s past.

You can find out more about the person you just “friended” or “followed” by scrolling through the seemingly endless feed of their posts. Granted you’re only viewing who they are online, which in some cases, differs to how they are in person.

But still, delving into someone’s past that they have willingly posted for just about anyone to read, is the modern way of getting to know someone.

But not the acceptable way.

           The term “Facebook Stalking” has an eerie ring to it. To stalk someone is an unsettling combination of creepy and illegal. So it sounds wrong to “Facebook stalk” or look through the posts or pictures someone willingly uploaded onto their page even if it’s with an innocent intent.

But why?

The person shared this information. The posts weren’t set to “private”. They weren’t stolen illegally by the owner and uploaded without their consent.

Unless your friend’s account was hacked or they had become a victim of revenge porn, two very separate actions from Facebook stalking, the action of looking at someone’s page isn’t fundamentally “wrong”.

It is however slightly embarrassing to be caught “Facebook stalking” someone.

You’re suddenly exposed to being invested in this person. You’re curious about them, you want to learn more. Maybe because they’re a really good friend, or that they intrigue you or you have a crush on them. Possibly you just looked them up because you met them on a dating app and you want to see if the person is as they say they are.  

            So is it wrong to look through someone’s profile? 

We share thousands of details about us daily every time we log in, post or update. We upload photos of ourselves going to Disneyland or the beach. We tag our best friends in silly videos. We post poems, or rants or reviews on our favorite restaurant down the street.

We do all of this to be seen. That’s the purpose of social media. To have what you post seen by a grand majority of people. To share and be shared with, pieces of life and those living with it.

You could say that it’s beautiful.

But when a notification pops up that someone has liked a post or picture you uploaded ages ago, you’re first thought is most likely around the lines of, “you’d have to scroll for some serious amount of time to uncover that old thing.” And you have either of three emotions: you don’t give two f*&#s, you’re flattered or you’re creeped out.

             So when you’re Facebook stalking someone and you read a status that was thought provoking, interesting, and it really warmed your heart, your first instinct was to ‘like’ the post, because in this society we’re all in this weird polygamous love web that feeds off of validation and attention.

But you hesitate for that moment because you remember that Facebook stalking is not a socially acceptable way of getting to know someone, even though social media itself is just a giant mismatched collage of “you” on display.

Instead you look to where you are in their timeline and you see that you’ve clicked back three to four to five years ago.

            Now there’s no way in the hell you’re “liking” that post. Even though you really do like that status what it means.

But maybe you have not talked to this individual in about a year and it might be weird for him to see a random “like” on a status he wrote some years ago.

Remember the choice of emotions? God forbid he lands in the “creeped out” category.

So you don’t. You just click the little red X and you pull up a new document and you write about how you feel about Facebook stalking.
That's good enough.
 

-E.B.H