The Downfall of Dating Apps

Below is my response to man that I had matched with on a dating app. The man in question had just sent me a checklist of his requirements that I had to fill to make it into his "respond list". As in, if I check off all these things, he'd actually respond to a message from me.
The checklist he had sent me included things like; "big booty, medium tits, not a SJW, intelligent but not pretentious, etc."

Derisive laughter aside, and while ignoring the stab of annoyance at the entirety of his list, I decided to try and open up an actual conversation with this person instead of just throwing in the towel and deleting him forthwith. 

"I'm trying to figure out how to word this. 

A person is more than just Qualities. Having a checklist, so to speak, of desirable attributes is helpful in some ways but detrimental in others. A person isn't always going to fit your check list - meaning you might fall in love with someone who doesn't fit into those categories.

They might live farther than you’d like them to be. Or they might vote different in an election than you. (This last election aside, if you don’t challenge your opinions or political stance, than you’re not standing for something, you’re just following it.) They might be shorter than you, or taller or bigger. They might not be your ideal image of the perfect imperfect partner.

They might have a mental illness. They might be disabled, or lacking in financial security. 

Maybe they’re different than you. The comedian instead of the philosopher. They like country music instead of pop punk (evidently I can't attract the kind of guy who will rock out with me to BMTH or Seether) They’re big on football and hate dancing. They might be a different race, or don’t go by the socially constructed gender confines.

Maybe they experience love differently than you. 

Maybe they can’t drive or are horrible at directions. Maybe their nervous habits annoy the hell out of you, or the way they stumble over their words when they’re nervous forces you to stop and really listen. Maybe you disagree a lot. Maybe you take your coffee differently. Maybe you have different goals and ambitions. 

Maybe you’re too similar. 

Maybe they’re not who you thought you’d fall in love with. 

But love doesn’t work like that. Not from what I’ve seen. Love doesn’t care about political parties or height differences. It doesn’t care about distance, or age, or how you take your coffee, or the aftermath of a bad night without medication. It doesn’t care that it’s making you love someone that is slowly dying every day from a disease no one knows how to cure. 

Love keeps going. Even after you've broken it; it’s always there in the back of your heart, as it never really gives up.  

But if you're so set in having one kind of person, you ignore all the others that might be good for you or better than the one you thought of. 

Honestly I'm not trying to insinuate that anything you're doing is bad, although it most definitely seems like it and for that I'm sorry. But I can't do checklists for people; my ideal man is someone I fall in love with. His quirks. Hobbies. Opinions. Personality. Finding a balance between our similarities and differences. Not someone who fits into a category that I think would be "ideal".

I learned to fall in love with the person. Not the idea."

Yes.
He responded.

"So you are an SJW?"

-E.B.H